Posted by
Conservativation on Friday, July 21, 2006 4:35:05 PM
I wanted to share something I had written awhile back. It involves the motivations behind what seems mindless violence and barbaric acts of terror. I think through a combination of cultural observation and scientific extrapolation I managed to figure one thing out.
Here Goes!!!!
Finally I realized there is a solution to the whole middle east situation. Palestinians who can't see the forest (their own idiocy) for the trees (their view of Jews), Iranians who would employ nuclear weapons casually based on a religious view, young men who can chant God is Great while sawing off the head of a bound and helpless innocent human being, men and women who will explode themselves to kill innocent people, Saudis that caused the burning deaths of schoolgirls because their heads were not covered, public decapitations and removal of limbs for crimes that we would not even call sexual harassment, stoning the victim of rape for adultery, killing ones own daughter for having a boyfriend from another sect., burning anything and everything and being a general nuisance every time someone states that you are a general nuisance...you get the picture.
I have tried to figure out what creates minds like these. I have searched for Scholarly works that root out the cause from centuries old stone tablets. I even hoped Dr. Laura would chime in and say they had a bad childhood and are just trying to have a good life. Zip, nada, nothing is what I found. In fact I see the press here falling over themselves to paint a picture that denies what we really see, because to acknowledge it would suggest it needs explaining, and it is unexplainable.
Until now.
There is something in the water. It must be that it sits next to the oil underground. From the time an Arab infant leaves the breast and takes his first drink of crisp refreshing al-Agua, he begins to make mock nukes from his tinker toys. The little girls play dress up...as a suicide bomber. "Doesn't this hide the bulge?" "No, not my ass Achmed, my bomber belt" Then Achmed says, "You betcha" er, take a moment.
So we need to send millions of gallons of Ozarka and wait for a full generation to die off. The next generation will never have touched the local water and caught "Mohammed's Revenge". We could begin to deal with the adults in about 20 years, considering it will only be the babies born later this year that start the program I predict peace will break out by 2030.
And if they act up too much in the meantime, we can bomb the dickens out of them while the water drinking men are standing roadside taking a leak.